Posted on by anna lee

Healthy Relationships

Throughout my entire experience being in public school, I became friends with several different kinds of people. I can say honestly and proudly, that the majority of these people are no longer in my life. As I strived to fit into the public school environment while also struggling with anxiety and depression, I became friends with people who were seemingly good for my self-growth. However, that was not at all the case when I became more educated about my self-worth.

The majority of my relationships, consisted in them telling me absolutely anything and everything about themselves. Throughout my life, people have always been extremely vulnerable towards opening up with me, seeing as I was encouraging and positively willing to listen to any of what they may be going through. Because of this, I began to notice a change in the attitude of my friends towards me. It became blatantly obvious that they were totally consumed with themselves and overall, they were not helping my self-growth.

I specifically recall a time period in tenth grade in which I became friends with an array of people and we had our own “friend group.” This was the first, only, and most toxic friend group I have ever been a part of. I have always been an introvert so being introduced to this kind of relationship dynamic showed me how valuable my own being was and that I was obviously taken for granted. Most of these individuals were so consumed with themselves that they simply neglected to understand the kind of person I was.

In the following years of my high school career, I began slowly removing people from my life that were obviously toxic. I became much more independent and self-motivated as I began to realize, I am the only one to fully understand the extent of my mental battles as well as my self-worth. I started using social media as a means to express myself, rather than a means to impress other people. I began to love myself.

Although, I had few friends, I have made long lasting and nurturing relationships with people whom I am incredibly grateful for. My siblings, for example, are my best friends and I have so much love that should not be taken for granted and I was able to spread my love with them.

As I also began to start working, my career at Wyndridge Farm was one in which I was incredibly undermined and taken for granted. However, during this time, I built a relationship with someone I truly cherish. Ellen Manning had consistently built me up and encouraged me, even though I was constantly undermined by the immature owners of this business. She was my manager and also one of the major influences in my life. I had never seen so much strength in one person until meeting her. She truly changed my perspective of myself and my potential. She showed me compassion and love through an extremely toxic environment. She was also incredibly undermined in her position as manager, making our relationship grow even stronger. I have an endless amount of thankfulness and love for this relationship.

As far as dating was concerned, I have never been one to dwell on the idea of being single. In fact, I took advantage of it and began to see myself through the eyes of love. Seeing as I have so much love, it is very rarely reciprocated back in the same manner and I am fully aware of what I deserve so I am absolutely not willing to accept less than my worth. I am incredibly grateful for the people in my life and though, I do wish to be in a relationship at times, I know I do not need one. I only need myself and my confidence goes far beyond the treatment I have been given in past relationships. I am dedicated and loyal. This quality has been used beyond compare, making my attitude incredibly steadfast towards the idea of finding someone who appreciates me for all that I am.

All in all, I have so much love and compassion that is utterly unmatched. This will always be taken for granted by some individuals, but this does not have the strength to deteriorate my self-respect and self-love.

Featuring my beautiful sister, Autumn 

Posted on by anna lee · 1 Comment

Healthy Eating Habits

Throughout the past several years, it has become blatantly obvious to myself that I needed to change my eating habits, as my current habits were resulting in digestive problems. It wasn’t until my junior year of high school, that I began to understand how lactose and gluten were affecting my health. Each day, I would go to school with stomach aches from eating literally anything and initially, I thought this was due to my anxiety. As I continuously tried different foods and eating habits in a public environment, I would altogether stop eating in front of people because I knew it would end up in having a stomach ache. After my older sister, Nina, found herself allergic to gluten and dairy, I found the symptoms matched exactly with how I was feeling. This is when I began an entirely new journey, as far as my eating habits.

As I began cutting out gluten and dairy from my diet, I immediately saw results that were positively benefiting my health. I began to realize how important it was to eat properly, according to my body’s functioning. At this time, I also began working out and incorporating the proper amount of meals in each day. I made it a habit to eat breakfast each morning and this drastically changed my energy level throughout the day, making me more alert and enthusiastic towards any task. I also began to love my body, as my body image had been distorted throughout my negative digestion. I made it a priority to drink the right amount of liquids each day, as well as eating balanced meals that benefited my digestive system.

Furthermore, it can be incredibly difficult to keep a balanced diet, especially with a hectic schedule and trust me, I know this from experience. However, the more I began to motivate my mind in eating healthier, it not only benefited my physical health but also my state of being. Along with other healthy habits outside of eating, I became more optimistic and enthusiastic towards my outlook on life. Reason being, I slowly began incorporating positive changes to my health and though it took a while, it has come to prove how beneficial small changes can make and how it leads to a self-motivated attitude.

Changing one’s diet from a seemingly negative one to a positive one, does require a lot of self -discipline and does become tiresome. It is incredibly important to understand that many people strive to better themselves but there is a lack of self-confidence in which, brings a less motivated attitude. Self-discipline is a long process that slowly builds from small choices such as, eating a piece of fruit as a snack as opposed to a bag of chips. Humans are not exempt from obstacles and there will likely be setbacks in a journey to a better diet, this is what allows us to grow and push ourselves that extra mile, which in the end, presents positive changes.

Posted on by anna lee

A Bit About Myself

These are all of my thoughts that have only ever been written in a private journal. My thoughts are overwhelmingly in-depth and based around the central idea of keeping an open mind as well as a peaceful heart. I strive to learn more about myself and others each day, during this process I create a comfortable atmosphere for my self-esteem and work ethic.